11 practices for the midlife slog
In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.
Dante
If midlife is a slog, then the way out is through. So to that end, I wanted to share a handful of practices that I have found helpful. Some of these I would call fully “mine,” where they happen regularly and habitually. Others, I’m still working on developing but am finding them helpful.
Here are 11 of my favorites.
Put the right boundaries around money
Practice gratitude - this has so many positive effects
Grow in generosity - it is a learned skill. Start today and work to grow over time. Will do wonders to shift your perspective from self towards others
Time
Relentlessly say no - If it’s not critical, the answer is no. This stage is about narrowing your focus to doing the most important things.
Get time in nature regularly - see the 20/5/3 rule - Good research out about getting into the natural world and the positive effects from doing so.
Continually work to adapt your professional role to play to your strengths - A role can be evolved over time, slowly work to make yours fit you best.
Self
Begin each day addressing head/heart/body. Grow your mind, keep your body healthy, and develop your soul - a powerful way to holistically start each day
You need to regularly experience beauty - Arthur Brooks makes this case in his new book. Transcendence from the good/beautiful/true should be a regular part of life.
Make peace with your past - You can’t let you past continue to rule over your present. Do the hard work to find peace and healing, forgive past wrongs, and move forward.
People
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Bowen Systems Theory - There are many key insights from this theory but my favorite is that you can change your family by changing yourself. It’s really hard to change others, but you can change yourself.
You need friends. Friends are built through time. This will be hard unless you are relentlessly saying no to make the requisite space