Avoiding emotional self-censorship
without inflicting yourself upon others
Are you guilty of emotional self-censorship?
As a typical middle-aged male, my own journey towards emotional health has been full of fits and starts. Here’s one lesson I’m learning.
Whether at work or at home, emotions are frequently inconvenient.
Often we tell ourselves what and how we are to feel, rather than experiencing our emotions as they are. But avoiding or re-interpreting your actual feelings only works for a period of time.
More concerning, it will eventually erode the skill of actually knowing your actual emotions.
Feelings can require archeology at times. The more we hide/bury/deny, the more our ability to interrogate our feelings atrophies, leaving you weighed down but unclear as to why.
For our long run health and success, we should want to develop a healthy degree of self-awareness and emotional self-management.
But, health does not mean every thought or feeling needs to be shared or acted upon in that moment. Often ‘speaking your truth’ is just the emotional abuse of others or as the great poet Taylor Swift described it as being “casually cruel in the name of being honest.”
Your inability to manage yourself in a healthy way does not give you the right to inflict your “stuff” upon others.
Yes - do know what you are feeling, but also know the time, place, and manner where you can process in a healthy and not harmful manner.